


The New Consultant

by TheWolfFearsHer



Series: Spencer-Lassiter Children [3]
Category: Psych
Genre: Babies in Halloween costumes, Don’t copy to another site, F/M, Halloween, Illusions to kink, Jealous Shawn Spencer, Lassiter has a uniform kink, M/M, Oblivious, One-Sided Attraction, POV Original Female Character, POV Outsider, Spencer-Lassiter Children, Vacation, oblivious Lassiter, two parts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2020-09-27 04:28:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20401681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWolfFearsHer/pseuds/TheWolfFearsHer
Summary: Kacey absolutely wants the consultant job at the SBPD and she will do anything to get it, even if that means sleeping her way to the top. Who better to sleep with then the grumpy Head Detective who is obviously not getting laid by his wife?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this as two separate chapters because I know that there are people out there waiting for this and I'm late on posting. I apologize that it is so short, it's nowhere near being complete.
> 
> Edited and reformated by the amazing [kbear1995](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kbear1995)

Shawn and Gus had taken the kids to the beach further away from Santa Barbra, just for the fun of it, but Lassiter gets stuck working for the week. He doesn’t mind it very much, because he loves his job, he’s just a little angry that he doesn’t get to see his kids having fun. Shawn, of course, will send him a million pictures, but it’s not the same. Halfway through the vacation, the department gets a huge kidnapping case, and without Shawn, they need to call in a consultant. Her name is Kacey and she seems to be absolutely obsessed with Lassiter. 

Kacey comes into the Police Department four days into Shawn’s vacation and two days after the start of the case, Lassiter immediately takes a disliking to her. It’s very possible it’s because he may or may not feel like she’s trying to replace Shawn. He admits this to Juliet late one night when they’re going over paperwork and she just assures him that she isn’t trying to do anything like that. 

Kacey absolutely wants the consultant job at the SBPD and she will do anything to get it, even if that means sleeping her way to the top. Who better to sleep with then the grumpy Head Detective who is obviously not getting laid by his wife? So she gets cozy with him or at least that was her plan, he seems to have no interest in her whatsoever. Kacey doesn’t understand, she’s pretty, blonde, and has big boobs, what is there not to like? They solve the case and Chief Vick gives her a job anyways but expresses that Kacey is no way replacing their previous consultant and that he will always be their first choice. 

Shawn and Kacey meet the day he gets back from vacation, he barges into the SBPD with a Pineapple Smoothie in his hand and a smile on his face, his best friend Gus right by his side looking annoyed. 

“Look, Gus. I’m telling you, I should go on vacation more often. I swear it was the best-” Shawn cuts his sentence off when he notices Kacey hovering around Lassiter’s desk and saunters over. “Hellooo, I’m Shawn Spencer, Psychic Detective and you are?” His voice is in a deep flirt and he takes a large sip of his smoothie. 

Kacey smiles, “I’m Kacey Bennete, new consultant of the SBPD.” He seems gullible enough, Kacey looks, and no wedding ring, maybe she can manipulate him into telling her things about the Head Detective. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kacey feels like she just got smacked in the face by a tree, she thinks she has whiplash. 
> 
> “Papa!” She grins. Nope, now Kacey has whiplash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Early Halloween!  
Don’t worry, there will be a separate work on The Spencer-Lassiter Halloween Traditions, posted November 1st, 2019 because u had to stay late at work today. I apologize!

Shawn doesn’t take a single one of her hints, he’s too busy flirting with Detective O’Hara to even notice that Kacey has been trying to get into his pants. She huffs, she doesn’t understand why Shawn keeps flirting with someone who so obviously doesn’t want to have sex with him rather than herself who absolutely does. What’s wrong with the men in this precinct?! Even the tall, idiotic police officer wants nothing to do with her. How is she ever supposed to get to the top?! And this stupid precinct has a woman as chief so she can’t even think about trying to go there, O’Hara is so obviously straight, Lassiter and Shawn want nothing to do with her and neither does that kid, Buzz? She’s frustrated beyond belief. 

The busiest day of the year, All Hallows’ Eve and Kacey is here for no reason. Not a single police officer has asked for her help, she could be at a party right now. 

“Yo Gus did you hear about the party on 8th street?!” Shawn calls across the precinct. 

“No Shawn, I haven’t.” 

“Apparently they have snow, which doesn’t make any sense since it’s October in California.” His face shifts confused. 

“Spencer!” Lassiter hisses, “Are you talking about Cocaine?!” 

“No, Lassie, I obviously said Snow.” 

“Shawn,” Gus smacks his lips, “Snow is cocaine.” So they raid the party on 8th street leaving Kacey, Shawn, and Gus behind. However, Shawn and Gus disappear within 5 minutes and Kacey thinks she might decide to jump off a bridge. 

On Halloween, Shawn walks into the precinct dressed as a Police Officer, “It’s Halloween, why not be what my father always wanted?” He snarks and Kacey actually feels a little bad for him, until Gus walks in dressed as some type of Wizard Kid. 

“It’s Harry Potter, Shawn.” 

“Spencer! What in the Holy Hell are you wearing!?” Lassiter all but yells, his face and ears growing a little red. Kacey has never seen that look on the detective before. 

“I’m a Police Officer, you like Lassie?” The uniform looks legit as if it wasn’t a costume. Shawn shakes his hips a bit. 

Lassiter hisses, “Take it off.” 

“If you say so.” And Lassiter’s ears seem to get even darker in color. 

“You know what I meant.” Shawn winks and Lassiter literally does an about-face and walks away while Shawn literally cackles. She wonders if she writes down the badge number if she can find out who’s uniform he’s actually wearing because there’s no way it’s fake. The question is, how will she get close enough to write down the badge number. 

Turns out Shawn loses literally everything and the badge is like a beam of light sitting on O’Hara’s desk. When no one’s looking, Kacey snatches it and quickly writes the number down, 6732, and sets the badge back down. She’s told that later there will be a trick-or-treat event for the children whose parents don’t trust random strangers handing out candy to their kids. The chief said she could dress up, or more demanded she dresses up. The only costume she has is the one she was going to wear to the party, which is a bit skimpy, but she can see if it catches the eyes of either Lassiter or Shawn. 

An hour before the Trick-or-Treat event starts a group of children show up and are dropped off by a mean-looking man, she will later discover use to work at the precinct. There’s a little girl who seems about four or five is dressed up as some fortune-teller type person and a little boy who is dressed up as a firefighter. A little further away there’s a little spider crawling around the floor of the precinct and Buzz seems to be holding a bumblebee. Lassiter comes out of the interrogation room with a frown and Kacey can tell someone is about to be yelled at, but his whole demeanor changes when he notices the little girl sitting in his seat. 

“Alisha!” He grins, “What’re you guys doing here so early?!” Kacey feels like she just got smacked in the face by a tree, she thinks she has whiplash. 

“Papa!” She grins. Nope, now Kacey has whiplash. The firefighter runs up to Lassiter as well, “Look, Papa! I’m a firefighter!” 

Lassiter frowns, playfully, can Lassiter be playful? “I guess we're mortal enemies then!” And the little boy laughs, Lassiter looks over at Alisha, “And what’s your costume then Allí?” 

“I’m a psychic just like Daddy!” Kacey needs a drink or ten. Just like daddy? As in? No, there’s no way! Nope, Kacey refuses to believe it. Turns out the spider and the bumblebee are Lassiter’s children as well, what the fuck is going on?! 

Kacey holds her breath as she types in the badge number into the police database she bribed one of the officers to let her use. 

6732

Carlton Jebediah Lassiter

April 11

Married; Classified

Promoted 

Kacey hisses as she lets the breath go, how did Shawn get Lassiter’s old uniform, unless they live together and are married with kids, NOPE! She did not try to seduce two gay guys, she’s smarter than that. Maybe the detective is gay, but there’s no way Shawn is. He doesn’t even wear a ring, they can’t be married. She refuses to believe it. Absolutely not. 

“Daddy!!” Alisha yells across the precinct and Kacey turns to see Shawn holding the Spider. He catches her eye and winks, was this all a game? Did they know that she was trying to get with them? Why don’t they act like a normal couple!? She resigns herself, yeah Shawn is Daddy and Lassiter is Papa, they’re married. Whatever, she can deal with that. She watches as they interact for Halloween, she understands, they’re a good couple. 

When she arrives for work the next day there’s a little on her desk:

November 1st

Kacey Bennete,

This letter is to inform you that your employment with The Santa Bárbara Police Department will end as of November 1st.

You have been terminated for the following reason(s):

Sexual Harassment of multiple officers.

Homophobic tendencies. 

This decision is not reversible.

If you have questions about policies you have signed, your compensation, benefits, or returning company property, please contact the front desk. 

Sincerely,

Karen Vick

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me on [Tumblr](https://thewolffearsher.tumblr.com/) for more content.


End file.
